Some things you will never hear me say
- "I'll buy that for you."
- "Yeah I guess Catholicism really does make sense."
- "Hey, can I have the rest of your vegan burger?"
- "No I don't want any potato chips."
- "Are you going to the Kelly Clarkson concert too?"
- "Yeah, (insert anything about American Idol here), but Simon is such a jerk OMG!"
- "I like the summer."
- "I like the winter."
- "I like the spring."
- "I don't hate fall."
- "These girls are always getting in the way of my video games."
- "Dude Hostel was a cool movie."
- "I just love my cat."
- "Not all people deserve to die."
- "I was on E at this one rave..."
- "It was about that time that I realized my life's ambition was to be a respectable, contributing member of society and not dabble with illegal drugs."
- "Sure, you can borrow it for a while."
- "Nah it's ok, just pay me when you get a chance."
- "I'm in love!"
- "I think I'm gonna have to pass on the blowjob." (unless a dude is asking.)
- "I would never cheat on my girlfriend."
- "I have a girlfriend."
- "I might not get Halo 3."
- "High school was the best time of my life."
- "I respect and admire your opinion."
- "I don't have time to just sit around all day, I have stuff to do."
- "I was at this club..."
- "Guns are so evil, they should be outlawed!"
- "Dude I just got a new Dell!"
- "What's a cpu?"
- "I wish I could live with all my friends!"
- "Yo, got some rocks?"
- "I NEED ROCKS!"
- "That new Steven Segal movie was fuckin rockin!"
- "I've always respected country music as an artform."
- "I don't want to lead a life of crime."
- "Porno? EWWW!"
- "Yeah if someone was handing out free pornos in the street I wouldn't even want to get one."
- "You really mean a lot to me."
- "Damn he gave me too much weed this time."
- "Trance music doesn't even make me want to dance."
- "Cool is my middle name."
- "I think I'll pass I just finished smoking."
- "I was mixing a garden salad yesterday when the phone rang. I answered the phone, only to find out that my beloved wife had been killed in a freak gas-fire accident at a local taco truck. Apparently there were a total of 3 deaths, and several were injured."
- "This was the best day of my life!"
- "Working gives me purpose!"
- "You like my tattoo?"
- "Check out my rims yo, dubs."
- "There is no possible way my friend Sam could be God of some crazy theoretical multiverse."
- "I'll name him Leroy!"
- "All I wanted was just one more corndog!" (as my final words)
- "Dude, put the kid down."
- "Math Blaster is the only game that really captivated me."
- "I'm gonna donate this to charity."
- "Hey lets go fuck with that black guy over there."
- "I think that science solves everything."
- "Yeah I guess I shouldn't jack off again, I mean I already did it 5 times today."